That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt. And I fucking feel it with all of those broken pieces and all of these fucking tears because I can't fucking stop and I want to fucking stop !

" Sunt atat de sociabila ca sa ascund faptul ca plang in fiecare seara inainte de culcare. "

23 decembrie

' " Ok iubito, stii ca ai zis tu ca in ziua asta atat de speciala nu va fi nimic diferit? Pai eu m-am gandit ca, din moment ce mereu ma ocup de -locul- ala, azi sa ma ocup de tot ceea ce esti tu. "

El deschide usa iar tu intri dezorientata..
Without you. American Horror Story. McDonalds. Cheeseburger. Vin rosu in 2 pahare. Tigari.

* Imagineaza-ti cum e sa intrii in camera iubitului tau si sa vezi ca el a adunat, in acel spatiu mic, lucrurile tale preferate. Pe fundal auzi melodia voastra

pe ecranul calculatorului vezi deschis serialul vostru, pe pat mancarea ta preferata, pe masa bautura preferata exact asa cum iti place sa o bei si tigarile care iti plac.

Perfect. He's perfect.
Ai transformat viziunea mea asupra zilei de 23 decembrie, zi in care timp de 2 ani am plans. Mi-ai creat alte amintiri, superbe si tot alaturi de tine. Inca nu-mi vine sa cred cat timp a trecut si ca esti al meu, ca imi dai voie sa te iubesc si sa ma deschid in fata ta si mai ales, ca imi oferi mai multa iubire decat mi-as fi imaginat vreodata ca exista.
I'm the luckiest girl in the world because I can say that I have my soulmate everyday by my side and he makes me the happiest person in the world. '

And it's not just that you would do these things for me, is the fact that you actually do them because you know that they make me happy. Is the fact that you care. Everyday. The fact that you love me extra everyday. Your love grows day by day and mine also. You make me trust you with my heart, with everything.

28 decembrie

Just remember that, from this day forward, all you used to mean to me, is gone. You made me "stop".

" She talks about him like he puts the stars in the sky. "

This is for the time you gave me flowers
For the world that is ours
For the moonlights, for the power of love
Imma take this time to show you how much you mean to me
'Cause you are all I need
No money can emphasize or describe the love that's in between the lines
Boy look into my eyes
This is beyond sex
Boy I'm high on you, and if it's real
Then you know how I feel
In my mind all I can think about is a frame for our future
And the pictures of the past,
And a chance to make this love last.

And no I won't never ever give you up
And I wanna say thank you in case I don't thank you enough
You'll never need 2 'cause I will be your number 1
Them other chicks are superficial
But I know you know I'm the one
That's why I'm all into you 

You are everythin' in my life, see the joy you bring
And ain't no one I compare you to
And I know that you will never walk away from me no matter what
And that's why I plan to do the same thing for you

Omg this is so fucking true

And you try to keep it together in a low, distant voice as you hear him crying in the phone, then you make up the excuse that you have to go to eat, so after you hang up the phone you start crying and crying and cutting and you just hate yourself more and more everyday.

" Nu mai stiu cum sa reactionez, daca sa mai incerc sau sa mai sper. S-au intamplat atat de multe lucruri neasteptat de rele in ultima perioada, atatea dezamagiri, incat nici nu-mi dau seama daca m-am resemnat sau sunt in starea de negare. Nu prea mai stiu, nu mai diferentiez. Nu mai disting sentimentele. Nu stiu daca sunt trista sau fericita, obosita sau plicitisita, fericita sau politicoasa. Nu are sens ce scriu, nici nu am mai scris de mult timp, ma invart in cerc: mi se face rau- fac rau oricui pot- distrug tot- ma calmez- mi se face rau- fac rau.... Si tot asa. "

"... So years later, after they met for the first time, he finally held her hand and asked if she thought their timing was right yet and waited for her yes before finally kissing her.

Now, she lets him hold her because now he is the man who has always loved her for her hurricanes rather than like her in spite of them, and she has learned to love his.

Because she doesn’t realize that he remembers the way she had made a forever promise to him when she was sixteen and writing poems in the old worn-out notebook during the day and he was eighteen and failing to control his need to call her at night.

They don’t know that when she was sixteen and a junior in high school, she used to change the way she was in an effort to catch a glimpse of him, only to miss him.

And when he was eighteen, he never kissed her, never dared to hold her hand, hardly allowed himself to hug her because he knew how dangerous letting himself touch her would be.

And she remembers when she was sixteen and a half and told him she was crazy about him and he was eighteen and trying not to get swept up into her by reminding her about the things that keep them apart.

And she still thinks of the time when she was sixteen and three quarters and he let his walls fall down in front of her and showed her his insecurities and she really knew what it meant to feel special.

And he recalls when he was eighteen and four months and she was sixteen and ten months and he told her he hoped their timing would work out someday.

~ Years after this, he held her hand after dinner and got down on one knee and told her he wanted their timing to always be right, and she told him she did too.

So when she was twenty-nine and a half and he was thirty-one, they exchanged official forever promises in front of their closest friends and family and she cried because she had fulfilled the promise she made when she was sixteen and writing poems that made his heart implode, and he had allowed himself to have his dream.

And when she was thirty and he was thirty-one and a half, he dreamt of a little girl with her eyes and his smile and she dreamt of a little boy with his hair and her words and so by the time she was thirty-three and he was thirty-four and a half, they had both.

And so when the little girl with his smile and her eyes was seven, and the little boy with her words and his hair was five, they asked their parents about storybooks and fairytales and she told them about a sixteen year old girl and her forever promise and he told them that with real love, the timing will always turn out right. ~ "

This is for you to read, my one true love, <V.

“Stop. You can’t love me because you’re lonely, or because I am the only one who doesn’t piss you off. I want to piss you off, I want to get on your fucking nerves. I don’t want the responsibility of always being your rock. I will try, but I’m a mess, too. I lie, I sleep too much and I don’t like children under the age of 6, really. I don’t even know if I want kids because I’m selfish, and mothers can’t be selfish once they decide to carry another life.

I’m always looking for the rain to come so I trip over my own feet. I know exactly what the air smells like before a storm.

Before you fall in love with me, I want you to know that I cry a lot because it feels good, and I masturbate at least 4 times a week, and you might fall out of love with me before either of us are ready for it.

I have no experience with this. I’m trying to be brave and smart but its almost impossible to be both at the same time.

You can’t love me like a fire escape. Sometimes I will be the match, or the smoke under the door. I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is that we all catch fire sometimes, before we even get warm.

Before you fall in love with me, I want you to know that there’s a 50% chance that this won’t work, that one of us will wind up hating the other. I will try to keep your head above water, but sometimes I’ll need help, too.

I can’t be your savior, and I don’t expect you to be mine. Just watch me unfold and I’ll watch you unfold, too. We’ll get drunk and tell each other everything. I know that’s cheating but maybe it’ll be alright. Maybe we won’t wake up embarrassed.

I am going to fall in love with you, too, feet first. Maybe we’ll slow dance off a building together, maybe we’ll have forgotten each other’s names by this time next year. I don’t care, the sky is gray with or without you, so I’m not going to look up anymore, I’m going to look ahead .”

         —Before You Fall in Love with Me,                 Caitlyn S.

" Depression, is a good lover.

So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you.

And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world,

That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting.

It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created. "

~wow~

This is so inspiring, it just makes you love life

OMG

Who I need is someone that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction. 

" Si eu ii dau viata si caldura, iar ea imi da un motiv sa traiesc "

                                                                        ( Paulo Coelho- Alchimistul )

You have love in places I can't even describe 

Vreau sa fiu egoista si fericita si sa ma bucur ca acei ochi superbi se uita doar la mine in felul acela si ma examineaza din cap pana in picioare, ca apoi buzele sa se miste si sa spuna "esti cea mai frumoasa fata". Iti multumesc atat de mult pentru ca esti aici, pentru ca imi deschizi ochii si ma completezi; stiu ca am mai spus despre diferite persoane din trecut ca ma inteleg, ca avem lucruri in comun....insa la tine e altfel, e mult mai mult- mult mai bine, tu esti eu. Suntem exact la fel si am stiut asta cu ani in urma asa cum o stiu si acum.
I'm with the love of my life, there's nothing better than this <V

"I cant wait until I can roll over at 2 a.m. to find your lips instead of a text"

" My life is 50% wondering if it’s too late to drink coffee and 50% wondering if it’s too early to drink alcohol "

omg she builds her own fucking fairytale

01:50-02:30

" Tu imi spuneai ca vrei sa ne despartim iar eu te strangeam mai tare de mana. "

Now we got bad blood so take a look at what you've done. Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them, you made a really deep cut. Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted. Did you think we'd be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife so don't think it's in the past. These kind of wounds, they last and last.

Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you and time can heal but this won't so if your coming my way, just don't.

You say sorry just for show. 

" He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad but he does it so well
And when we had our very first kiss
My last request is: say you'll remember me "

6 years and I won't give up now.

A

I miss you too much to be mad anymore

Screaming, crying, perfect storms
I could make all the tables turn
Rose garden filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like 
" Oh my god, who is she? I get drunk on jealousy "
But you'll come back each time you leave
Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream


So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

 *Cand ne certam, te strang mai tare in brate*

" My pain was never beautiful or poetic. It was answering the phone mid breakdown and laughing like I was fine. "

" Sunt atat de rea iar tu esti atat de dragut si asta ma face sa fiu si mai trista. "

A

I craved for you, for your friendship, for "us". I'm craving for you since summer. You just didn't care. You thought I was ok but right now, you barely know anything about me. It's so damn hard because I want you to know everything, like you used to. I have kind-of-friends but none of them means to me what you mean. I feel like I've lost my sister or a part of me. I cry everyday because of this; my boyfriend knows it, everybody knows it, everybody knows how much I need you. I'm so fucking scared. Today I've watched you cry and I cried after because I've wanted to help you so bad but you treated me like a stranger, you put someone else first. I've cried too, you know, two weeks ago and you asked me if I was crying because of my parents but when you asked me if I was crying because of you I've only started to cry harder. Are you too blind to notice how much I miss you? I MISS YOU. The real you. The one I've always wanted to be there for, my jealous best friend, the one I thought will always be there for me. Two weeks ago when I was crying, you asked me 2 questions, then you went out of the classroom to see your boyfriend. You left me there. Crying. Today when I saw you crying I wanted to hug you -like I used to do everytime you cried before- but then I remembered how you treated me when the world came crushing down on me. No *bear-hug* from you. No nothing. If you would've been interested in me, you would've known that I miss you too much and I cry too much because of you and I'm not ok either. You always care about anybody else but me and that's kind of fucked up because you used to tell me that I'm the one that comes first.

cryin' because of this every fucking day

<V

That's sooooo me

It's so awkward that you don't even realise how sad you make me. 

She's hurting me and she doesn't even know and doesn't even care.

" E vina ta! M-ai obisnuit cu tine, asa frumoasa si acum nu ma pot uita la alta fata! "

I'm so confused. I'm hurt but then I'm not.

" Players only love you when they're playing "

About my " best friend "

Cine ar fi crezut ca, tocmai persoana care statea cu mine acum 2 ani, cand plangeam dupa cea mai buna prietena si imi spunea " nu te merita, eu nu te-as lasa ", acum m-ar face sa plang pe acelasi motiv, din cauza ei de data asta...?

" Stai linistita, o sa fim impreuna si dupa ce se scurge timpul "

" Ma vad in ochii tai "
" Daca ai stii ce bine te vezi aici... " a zis iubirea vietii mele, in timp ce si-a dus mana la inima

You're like a tattoo, I'll always have you

I fall in love with you every single day, honey

" And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory "


- i would kill to dance on this song at my wedding -

Nu credeam ca e posibil sa-ti vina sa plangi de fericire dar jur ca, in acel moment perfect, in care ma sarutai, ma mangaiai si erai atat de atent cu mine, in acel moment atat de magic am zambit si am plans de fericire.

& I wish I could describe all these emotions that you make me feel everyday, how these feelings become bigger and stronger with every hug, every kiss, every touch, every time I see your beautiful eyes, every time you talk. You're like a dream, I hope that you're real, because I would like to die if you're not.

I love you infinity twice infinity

As putea sa scriu carti intregi despre tine, luand in considerare istoria noastra, atat de lunga. Am atat de multe de spus, nu am mai avut timp sa scriu de cateva saptamani dar totusi, mi se pare ca s-a strans o viata de amintiri cu tine.

Imi spui de zeci de ori pe zi ca sunt frumoasa si nu ma satur niciodata sa aud asta. Nu ma satur sa aud asta de la tine. Tu nu trebuie sa faci lucrurile cu masura, tie nu trebuie sa-ti fie teama ca isi pierd din farmec. Totul e special la tine, mereu vreau mai mult si mai mult si din fericire, mereu primesc mai mult si mai mult. M-am simtit atat de rau in ultimele 3 saptamani din atat de mult puncte de vedere iar tu ai fost aici- ai fost aici sa te uiti cu mine la Gatsby, sa ma tii de mana atunci cand plangeam de durere si sa ma ajuti sa-mi controlez respiratia; sa facem clatite; sa stai langa mine cu orele, sa te uiti la mine cum dorm, sa nu-mi dai drumul la mana, sa nu te culci doar ca sa poti sa fii treaz si sa te asiguri ca sunt ok, sa ai grija sa ma invelesti, sa verifici din 10 in 10 minute daca am febra si sa-mi aduci apa cu toate ca nu ti-am cerut, dar stiind ca o sa vreau. As vrea sa pot sa-ti multumesc suficient de mult pentru toata grija de care dai dovada atunci cand vine vorba de mine; ma uit la parintii mei si ii vad calmi si linistiti atunci cand stiu ca sunt cu tine, ma uit la fratele meu mai mic si vad cat de atasat e de tine. Observ toate lucrurile mici, toate gesturile marunte care conteaza atat de mult.

Numai tu ai alergat spre mine atunci cand m-ai vazut, stiind ca eu nu pot sa alerg; numai tu ma duci in parc si transformi un lucru dragut in ceva magic; numai tu esti mai sexy si mai frumos decat orice pe lumea asta; numai tu ai privirea aia metalica si ochii patrunzatori- privirea aceea pe care n-am putut sa o sustin nici in prima zi cand te-am cunoscut, cu aproape 6 ani in urma, nici in ziua de azi; privirea aceea care e, totusi, atat de draguta si plina de afectiune; numai tu poti sa faci dragoste cu mine, ca mai apoi sa facem sex, numai tu poti sa ma atingi atat de delicat si sa fii dominator, numai tu. DOAR TU. Doar tu m-ai invatat cum sa iubesc; sa-i spun persoanei iubite problemele mele fara sa-mi schimb atitudinea fata de ea. Cu tine vreau sa fac totul, vreau sa fac orice, imi place sa ne tinem de mana pe strada si sa vada toata lumea ca tu esti iubitul meu. Tu, perfect si inegalabil. Tu, inalt, frumos, plin de muschi, tatuat si sexy. Tu, inteligent, carismatic, arogant, paranoic, gelos, iubitor, lipicios si extrem de funny. Apreciez atat de mult toate calitatile tale, desi nu ti le spun atat de des. Iubesc la tine inclusiv ambitia ta si faptul ca excelezi in ceea ce iti propui, pentru ca ai reusit sa intri printre primii la una dintre cele mai bune facultati si totusi, in acelasi timp reusesti sa joci atat de bine basket. Pentru ca nu te lasi doborat de niciun obstacol, pentru ca faci haz de necaz si continui sa mergi mai departe.

"Oricum eu am fost cel mai bun prieten al tau...shh stii ca asa e"

"Don't ever leave me, okay? Promise?

Promise :)

Don't ever forget that.

I won't."

Stau in pat, imbracata cu hanoracul tau si simt mirosul tau peste tot. I can't wait for the time when I will fall asleep every night next to you.

8 oct.

Mc, lacrimi, tigari and left alone. 

Mi-au ajuns pana in gat lucrurile inutile pe care trebuie sa le facem noi, ca si oameni, zilnic; de la zambetul fals menit pentru persoana a carei companie nu ne place, dar cu care nu vrem sa intram in conflict, pana la lucrurile inutile ce tin de liceu. As prefera sa stau toata ziua in casa si sa citesc, decat sa-mi irosesc ziua cu momente, informatii si cuvinte inutile.

" În orice împrejurare, femeile au mai multe prilejuri de suferință decît bărbatul și suferă mai mult decît el. Bărbatul își are puterea și exercițiul puterii; el lucrează, umblă, muncește, meditează, înfruntă viitorul și găsește consolări în asta. Astfel făcea Charles. Dar femeia stă locului, rămîne față în față cu durerea, de la care nimic nu-i abate gîndul, coboară pînă în fundul genunii săpate de durere, o măsoară și adesea o umple numai cu dorul și lacrimile ei. Asta făcea Eugénie, începuse a se iniția în destinul său. A simți, a iubi, a suferi, a se devota vor fi veșnic urzeala vieții femeiești. Eugénie trebuia să fie femeie în toate, în afară de ceea ce consolează femeia. Fericirea ei fusese „ca țintele semănate pe ziduri”, după sublima expresie a lui Bossuet, o dată strînse la un loc, nu aveau să-i umple nici podul palmei. Suferințele nu se lasă niciodată prea mult așteptate, și pe Eugénie o ajunseră de zor. "

             - Balzac, Eugenie Grandet

Esti atat de special incat uneori simt ca n-am stiut adevaratul sens al acestui cuvant pana sa te cunosc pe tine si nu, nu spun asta asa cum o spun oamenii in general intr-o relatie, o spun pentru ca nu am citit nici macar in carti ceva atat de special cum esti tu, cum e relatia cu tine si fiecare zi cu tine de cand suntem impreuna ( iar eu citesc multe carti )

20 septembrie

-Momentul perfect cand dansezi cu iubitul tau si el iti canta melodia voastra-

Cele mai frumoase 7 luni din viata mea. Fara depresii, fara despartiri, cu mult mai multe momente pline de zambete decat cele pline de lacrimi; ma completezi, esti eu, esti o varianta mai buna a mea, esti al meu. Imi place atat de mult sa spun ca esti al meu si ca esti acolo daca am nevoie de tine, imi place sa li se para tuturor ciudat ca vorbim mult si ne vedem zilnic, dar sa nu inteleaga nimeni ca asta e defapt iubirea. Asa se simte iubirea, se simte cand nu vrei sa treaca vreo secunda fara ca cealalta persoana sa fie langa tine, pentru ca tu si el sunteti unul, sunteti voi impotriva oricui, sunteti voi cand e greu, cand e frig afara, cand ceva merge prost, cand totul merge bine. Sunteti doar voi si nu-ti poti dori nimic mai mult decat sa te trezesti langa el dimineata si sa adormi langa el noaptea, dar stii ca nu se poate, asa ca incerci sa recuperezi fiecare secunda in care el nu e langa tine, in care nu simti bratele lui in jurul tau si nu auzi vocea lui. Esti cel mai bun moment al zilei mele, esti jumatate din inima mea; jumatatea aceea care era rupta in doua de catre tine, tot tu ai reparat-o. Ai reparat-o si acum esti aici sa ai grija de ea si de mine.

http://aplus.com/a/motivational-video-rise-and-shine

That's me everyday. I always argue with my boyfriend about that, I wish he would just understand.

Vreau sa fiu cu tine in fiecare moment dintre secunde ∞

" Nu am mai avut de mult o depresie si e wow. "

you're simply the best

“If anyone out there has a mother, and she’s not perfect, please call her and say you love her anyway.”

                              - Robert Downey Jr

~ 27 septembrie ~

Omg it's almost the same as it was in The notebook

" 1. Life will be full of disappointments.

No matter what age you are.

2. And moments of pure bliss.

The moments where your face will hurt from smiling so much.

3. You will fall in love, and it will be terrifying.

But it will also be exciting and wonderful.

4. You’ll fall out of love.

Or someone will fall out of love with you.

5. You’ll date someone who doesn’t treat you like they should.

And it will take you longer than it should for you to realize you deserve better.

6. And you may not love the person that loves you.

No matter how hard you try.

7. You’ll spend most of your twenties trying to figure out who you are.

And maybe even your thirties or forties...

8. You’ll lose your way.

And it might take you a while to find your way back.

9. You’ll experience a broken heart, and it will hurt more than you could ever imagine.

But one day, you WILL be able to move on.

10. You’ll have to work really hard to love yourself.

And it will be something you have to work on for the rest of your life.

11. It may take a while, but you’ll learn that this body is the only one you get.

So you have to take care of it.

12. And others won’t always recognize your greatness.

It's one of life's greatest shocks to enter the real world and realize that you're one of millions. Which is all the more reason why you have to recognize the greatness within you, first.

13. Bad things will happen, and you won’t be given a reason for them.

No matter how many times you ask.

14. People will dislike you…for no reason at all.

And you will have to learn to accept that.

15. You’ll learn who your true friends are, and it will be incredibly painful at times.

But also necessary.

16. And people you once considered your best friends will become strangers to you.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

17. You will make mistakes.

And never stop making them.

18. You will have regrets.

No matter how hard you try to live a life without them.

19. Sometimes, you’ll feel like giving up.

And you shouldn't.

20. And sometimes, you will admit defeat, and that’s OK.

Have a drink, and don't be so hard on yourself.

21. You’ll go through ups and downs with your parents and realize how incredible they are much later than you should.

 

And you'll make every second with them count.

22. People will break your trust.

More than once.

23. Standing on your own two feet — once you’re finally able to — will be a reward you would have never even imagined when you were younger.

Relish it.

24. You’ll realize that every second you waste wishing you were someone else is a second you waste being the extraordinary person that you already are.

And who you are is perfect.

25. The world will try to harden you, and you have to allow your smile to change the world.

Instead of allowing the world to change your smile.

- Because as tough as life can be, it’s yours, and it’s the only one you get.

So you have to make the best of it. "

The most beautiful thing is seing someone dedicating his life to you. You do this for me, I love you forever for that. For showing me what love is and for loving me much more than any other boy could love a girl, for never leaving me walk away or give up, for teaching me how to love and cherish what I have and what's mine, for saying me that I'm beautiful 100 times a day, for making me open up to you, for thinking what I'm doing all the time, for thinking if I'm ok, if I love you or if the sex is good. You're the one that looks at me the way Gatsby looked at Daisy, just like I've always wanted. You're the best love, you're my love, you're the one. You're my other half; God must love me very much, because he brought you in my way and now I'm complete ♡

Always yours, always mine

" Eu nu vreau sa mor pentru o femeie, vreau sa mor langa o femeie. "

                             - The expendables

* alcool, tigari, sex si discutii apropiate

plus timp de hugs si poze *

" "Too young to know about forever" but I say they don't know what they're talking about. 'Cause this love is only getting stronger so I don't wanna wait any longer, I just wanna tell the world that you're mine. 

They don't know about the things we do, they don't know about the "I love you's" but I bet you if they only knew, they will just be jealous of us. They don't know about the up all nights, they don't know I've waited all my life just to find a love that feels this right.

One touch and I was a believer, everyday it gets a little sweeter, it's getting better and it keeps getting better all the time.
They don't know how special you are, they don't know what you've done to my heart, they can say anything they want, 'cause they don't know about us.
They don't know what we do best, that's between ME and YOU, our little secret. But I wanna tell everyone that your mine. "

mhm

~ "you my boo" ~

Uitasem cum e sa fii inconjurat de oamenii care conteaza cel mai mult pentru tine pe lumea asta, sa pierdeti vremea si sa va simtiti bine.

00.00, 15 septembrie

You hurt me so bad but it's like with every piece that's breaking inside of me, I love you more. 

Scriu ceva frumos despre tine, apoi ma superi si incep sa plang, sa ma enervez si sa nu mai vorbesc cu tine. Incerc sa te indepartez, sa ridic inapoi zidul ce era mai demult intre noi; insa apoi ma suni, eu iti raspund in final, nu pot sa-ti rezist. Esti cel mai rau om si cel mai perfect iubit; mai ciudat e ca nu as schimba nimic la tine. Esti perfect pentru mine. Iti multumesc pentru ca nu ma lasi sa te indepartez si pentru ca esti tu.

" In legatura cu sarutul de noapte buna, daca vrei sa ma saruti o sa vii la geamul tau de la bucatarie. "

I can't wait for tomorrow, to see your face.

Simt ca ar trebui sa scriu ceva, insa nu-mi mai gasesc cuvintele. Maine incepe liceul. Maine e un nou inceput. Nu stiu ce inseamna asta, imi amintesc cat de mult a contat acel "inceput" anul trecut.
Sper sa reusesc sa devin o persoana mai buna, sa fiu the kind of person that I would like to meet, sa nu mai dezamagesc pe nimeni; mai ales pe mine. Sper sa realizez intr-o zi care imi sunt prietenii adevarati, sa realizez ca iubirea adevarata exista si te lasa sa te eliberezi si sa iubesti din tot sufetul, fara frica dezamagirii. Nu vreau sa fiu iar in razboi cu mine insumi, nu vreau sa mai fiu trista. Nu am avut o vara deloc ok, dar a fost cu tine si asta a facut-o sa fie perfecta in felul ei. Am gasit linistea si echilibrul de care aveam nevoie, datorita tie. O sa-mi fie dor sa adorm langa tine, sa ma trezesc langa tine dimineata sau mai bine zis sa ma trezesti tu pentru ca eu mereu dorm prea mult; o sa-mi fie dor de tot, dar stiu ca e imposibil sa nu avem alte amintiri si mai frumoase de acum incolo, orice cu tine e frumos.
E mai urat afara, e mai frig, totul in jur capata o stare mohorata si trista, o sa fie stresant si greu, o sa fiu irascibila, o sa fiu confuza, o sa fac greseli; insa nu uita, te rog, ca te iubesc mai mult decat orice. You're my world, mi-ai demonstrat asta toata vara, mi-ai demonstrat ca esti singura persoana care o sa ramana langa mine atunci cand imi e cel mai rau.

Cea mai frumoasa vara din viata mea cu tine, cea mai frumoasa saptamana la mare, cea mai frumoasa saptamana la mine, cele mai frumoase nopti si cele mai superbe dimineti, cele mai sexy si mai dragute gesturi, nu o sa uit niciodata toate gesturile mici si dragute pe care le-ai facut si continui sa le faci pentru mine de cand suntem impreuna. Iubesc sa fii gelos si sa vrei sa fiu doar a ta, iubesc sa ma faci sa zambesc chiar si atunci cand sunt suparata pe tine, iubesc tot cu tine si iubesc si vara asta care a trecut, pentru ca toate amintirile din ea sunt cu tine.

Grecia, locul nostru, cadouri, ziua mea, lesinat, lacrimi, tipete, palma, cluburi, promisiuni, examen, mare, sex, munte, varteju, sex, sex, sex, mutat, buda, dureri, filme, nopti-dimineti si zile superbe, certuri mari-foarte mari, muzica, weed, tigari-prea multe tigari, prea putina bautura, shopping, prea putini prieteni-prea putine momente dragute cu ei, dezamagiri, animalute de plus, poze si in final extrem de muuuuulta iubire.

A da si hei, a fost prima mea vara cu tine, cred ca iti imaginezi cat de mult am asteptat eu asta, mai ales dupa ce ai citit tot ce am scris in celelalte veri; dar cel mai frumos acum e ca nu mai stiu exact fiecare data cand s-a intamplat fiecare lucru, pentru ca esti iubitul meu si s-au intamplat mult prea multe.

Thank you for everything, for loving me and please, love me extra everyday  🐷❤️🐯

13 septembrie

" Let's make a deal. "

" Vrem sa fim intelesi fara sa explicam. " 

“People always say that it hurts at night
 and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am
 is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken.
But sometimes 
it’s 9am on a tuesday morning
 and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up. And the smell of dusty sunlight and earl gray tea makes you miss him so much 
you don’t know what to do with your hands.”

" And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale,
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well. "

" Pls , marry me :) will ya? "

" Heii can't wait to tell our kids that we are highschool sweethearts. "
" Our journey right? Our univers right? "
" Always yours, always mine. "
"... sa ne culcam si trezim impreuna in acelasi patut sau baie sau plaja sau oriceee dar impreuna "
" Iubirea vietii mele, chiar esti my other half "

Do you believe that I love you? If you do, it doesn't matter where I am or who I talk to, I'm with you.
Trust is a choice. You know, everyday, we're going to roll out of bed and send each other into the world just trusting that we have each other's backs. And we will slip up and we will be scared, but I choose to trust and to love you through everything.

" I can't stand not talking to you even thought I'm mad at you, 'cause you're still my best friend. "

!

" They're always with some guy; if she's special, you just have to make sure that guy is you. "

Vreau sa ma trezesc cu tine dimineata in casa noastra, in patul nostru. Vreau sa ne plimbam pe strada unul alaturi de celalalt, ca toata lumea sa stie ca tu esti al meu si eu sunt a ta. Nu vreau sa-mi mai fie frica...

" Ai experimentat vreodata ceva atat de profund si de minunat incat atunci cand ti-a fost luat viata ti s-a parut de nesuportat?
Cred ca, atunci cand iubesti pe cineva si acea persoana te iubeste la fel, devii destul de vulnerabil. Va avea puterea sa te raneasca precum nimeni altcineva. "

" Her on my bed, wide green eyes staring down at me. The enduring mystery of her sly, almost smirking, smile. Five layers between us.. "

At least I've got my one true love, although I don't have my friends anymore.

" Vreau sa stie toata lumea ca sunt impreuna cu cea mai bipolara persoana, ca ea e doar a mea iar eu sunt doar al ei si ca suntem doar noi doi. "

" Don't you get it? No matter how rich or famous or succesfull I become, when it comes to you, I'm always going to be that girl who freaked you out when we met for the first time.
You were the first boy who made me feel loved and sexy and... visible. You are my first love and I want more than anything for you to be my last. "

- Glee

( ti-am spus ca mereu scriam despre tine )

* 6 months ago *

" Ma uitam la tine si parca nu imi venea sa cred ca esti langa mine; ca stam pur si simplu la o masa, intr-o cafenea si vorbim. Stiu ca nu mai am aceleasi sentimente, insa e dragut sa te am aproape si sa fie totul altfel fata de cum eram obisnuita. Uneori imi pare rau si imi doresc sa ma indragostesc iar. "

* 5 or 4 months ago *

" Nu mai exista nimic. Ce mai conteaza restul, cand tu esti aici, in fata mea si pot sa te trag aproape, sa te sarut si sa-ti spun "iubitule". Trec zilele pe langa mine si nu-mi vine sa cred ca avem aproape doua luni. Poate doua luni nu reprezinta mult in general, dar pentru noi e enorm. Nu vreau sa ma gandesc nicio clipa daca se va distruge ceva;  pentru ca, sincer, esti tot ce am vrut vreodata, iar acum, e in sfarsit real. M-ai facut sa ma indragostesc iar si te iubesc mai mult cu fiecare zi care trece. Ma uit la tine si vreau doar sa-mi plimb degetele pe pielea ta, sa-ti sarut fiecare parte a corpului; vreau sa intelegi cat de reale sunt sentimentele mele. "

* 4 months ago *

" A iesit ceva bine in viata mea. Pentru prima data a iesit asa cum vreau eu. Dupa luni intregi de confuzie, de iubire on-off, de lacrimi, de tipete, de despartiri si impacari, sunt in sfarsit fericita.

Ma uit la tine si simt cum timpul se opreste in acel moment, cand suntem noi 2; simt ca nu mai vreau sa plec de langa tine, ca nu vreau sa-ti dau drumul la mana, ca vreau sa ma imbratisezi si sa ma simt mica si inocenta; simt ca te vreau, in toate modurile posibile. 

De ce nu pot sa ma obisnuiesc cu ideea ca, in final, dupa atatea chestii, esti al meu? Esti al meu, esti chiar aici si uneori e atat de ciudat de constientizat... As vrea ca toata lumea mea sa se invarta in jurul tau, insa nu pot lasa garda jos si nu ma suport pentru asta. Nu mai suport noptile nedormite, nu mai suport sa ma gandesc ca, oricand am ceva, nu pot sa apreciez acel lucru. Nu stiu sa apreciez.

Vreau sa uit totul si sa te iubesc. Sa uit de tot si toate si sa ma concentrez numai pe tine. Pentru ca te iubesc. Te iubesc mult si e prima data cand o pot spune si pot sa fiu sigura ca mi se va raspunde cu aceleasi cuvinte. "

* 2 months ago *

" Vreau sa ma trezesc cu tine dimineata, in casa noastra, in patul nostru. Vreau sa ne plimbam pe strada unul alaturi de celalalt ca toata lumea sa stie ca tu esti al meu si eu sunt a ta. Nu vreau sa-mi mai fie frica... "

* today *

Please, love me extra everyday.      🐷❤️🐯

" I know that she has got so much love in her heart that the thought of letting it out, showing her cards... it scares her to death. "

Imi vine sa plang cand ma gandesc ca maine e ultima zi din "vara" noastra, in care dormi la mine.

2 septembrie

6 luni with the loml :)
6 luni pline de fluturasi
6 luni pline de iubire
6 luni pline de lacrimi
6 luni pline de sex
6 luni pline de tine

Nu ma mai satur de tine, de noi, de povestea noastra. Nu ma satur sa fii langa mine in fiecare secunda si nu vreau sa ma satur vreodata. Nici in 6 luni, 12, 24 sau un infinit de luni.
You're heaven for me, you're the one thing I sure as paradise got right and I just want you forever honey :)

- Be with someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at the restaurant -

" Esti tot ce vreau :) "
" Heeei adica ce vrei sa spui, ca seman cu un cheeseburger?! "

" Lasa-ma sa fiu cheeseburgerul tau "

he's perfect

I want friends who will fight for me, I want a lover who won't dissapoint me, I want a family who will accept me no matter what; I want people who will love me for me and won't ever give up on me.

Oh, God... perfection

And I hate you for your lies and your covers.
And I hate us for making good love to each other.
And I love making you jealous but don't judge me.
And I know that I'm being hateful but that ain't nothing.
That ain't nothing.
I'm just jealous.
I'm just hurt.
I'm just human.
Don't judge me.
If you're keeping your promise, I'm keeping mine.

I wonder where were you when I was at my worst, down on my knees and you said you had my back.

You were different from my last but now you got it mirrored. You should've known better than to mess with me, HONEY.

I wish I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things; like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I'll never escape. 'Cause I'm not fine at all. The pictures that you sent me are still living in my phone but it's like we never happened, it was just a lie. Make-up and tears running down my face. I wish all of this was a twisted dream and tomorrow I would wake up with you beside me, I'd hold you closer than I ever did before and you'd never slip away. Tell me this is just a dream...

haha :)))))

Oh, please, life, break another piece of my heart.

Stiu ca o sa vina o vreme cand eu o sa fiu cea ranita, iar tu nu o sa ma mai vrei atunci. Stiu ca o sa vina o vreme cand tu nu o sa ma mai iubesti si o sa treci peste tot. Stiu ca o sa fie randul meu sa sufar pentru toata durerea pe care ti-am provocat-o. Crede-ma cand iti spun ca, n-am crezut ca vei fi atat de important pentru mine atunci cand ne-am cunoscut. Crede-ma ca nu credeam ca o sa pot iubi. Crede-ma ca nu am vrut niciodata sa fiu personajul negativ, nu am vrut niciodata sa frang inima cuiva, pentru ca stiam la randul meu cum e sa ai inima franta. Crede-ma ca nu voiam sa fiu responsabila pentru durerea ta. Crede-ma ca totul a fost real pentru mine. Crede-ma ca imi e dor uneori. Crede-ma cand iti spun ca va veni randul meu sa sufar si sa-mi dau pumni in cap ca te-am pierdut.

24 august- not in love anymore

All I wanna do is trade this life for something new.

You destroyed me. You destroyed everything.

you're mine <V

YOU

Find someone who makes you feel drunk when you're sober.

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck

this is just so cute and so awesome, click on the link    ^                                                                                                  

                                                                                          |

For the one true love of my life,

"He’s so damned nice and he’s so awful. He’s my sort of thing."

* Te tratez ca pe sotia mea, ca pe o printesa, exact cum am vrut dintotdeauna sa-mi tratez jumatatea. *

* La tine e dragoste pura *

* Daca era un singur lucru diferit la tine ai fi fost imperfecta *

* De ce as vrea sa omor jumatate din mine? *
* Nu se presupune ca suntem legati? *

Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult, cu fiecare mic gest pe care il faci, cand observ ca stii ce imi place sau mi s-ar potrivi- de la ceas, la trandafirul negru; pana la cel mai perfect cadou pe care l-am primit vreodata in viata mea; si anume “inima ta”. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult ori de cate ori ma faci sa trec prin toate starile posibile, ori de cate ori ma faci sa innebunesc si sa incep sa plang in disperare, sa-mi fie frica sa te pierd. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult in momentele dureroase, cand tu esti urcat pe geam si vrei sa te arunci iar eu ma chinui sa nu fac vreo prostie, cand uit de mine si sunt atenta sa nu-ti faci tu rau; cand vin sa te iau de la piscina, sa te duc in camera si sa te sterg pe cap cu prosopul pentru ca esti ud si nu vreau sa racesti mai rau, toate astea in timp ce tipam unul la altul. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult cand vad cat de multa grija ai de mine, cand eu nu mai vad in fata ochilor si ma panichez, iar tu ma inveti cum sa respir ca sa ma calmez; cum imi arunci un “trebuie sa fii puternica” iar eu sa-ti spun plangand ca nu stiu sa fiu puternica. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca esti acolo sa ma "prinzi" in caz ca vreau sa-mi iau lucrurile si sa plec. Esti acolo, sa trantesti usa, sa ma prinzi de mana si sa ma arunci pe pat. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca esti acolo sa plangi cu mine, sa asculti aceeasi muzica pe care o ascult si eu, sa avem conversatii inteligente pe orice tema; pentru ca esti acolo, sa stai cu mine noaptea, la piscina, pe sezlonguri si sa ne uitam la stele; sa-mi spui ca vrei sa avem steaua noastra. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca nu spui doar cuvinte, pentru ca faci orice vis sa devina realitate, sa devina material... pentru ca ma asociezi cu cuvantul “utopie”; pentru ca am cel mai bun sex din lume cu tine, pentru ca ma legi cu catusele, pentru ca e totul atat de hardore si atat de frumos; pentru ca vrei atat de mult sa ma simt bine incat mi-ai provocat 100 de orgasme in 3 ore, m-ai omorat la propriu, i-ai facut asta fetei care nu putea sa aiba niciunul. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca, dupa 5 ani, esti inca aici. Pentru ca pana acum cateva ore, erai aici, in camera asta, unde a inceput totul. Pentru ca am avut cea mai frumoasa saptamana din viata mea alaturi de tine, iar dupa cea de la mare chiar nu credeam ca poate fi mai bine. Mereu faci orice lucru de vis sa fie de zeci de ori mai frumos. Te iubesc infinit de mult, e putin spus pana la stele si inapoi; nu am mai simtit niciodata in viata mea ceva atat de frumos si asta doar in 5 luni si putin. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca m-ai facut sa plang de fericire, nu credeam ca e posibil. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca ma surprinzi mereu; pentru ca desi stiu cat de cute, frumos si sexy esti, mereu sunt  "wow”  atunci cand te vad. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca tot ceea ce faci e “wow” . Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca ma suporti cand sunt rea si continui sa incerci tot timpul. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca orice atingere a ta e un fior plin de iubire si un sentiment de protectivitate de nedescris.  Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca ma simt in siguranta langa tine, you feel like home. Un sarut nu e doar un sarut cu tine, sexul nu e sex, e dragoste. Nu exista niciun mod omenesc posibil prin care sa pot sa decriu tot ceea ce simt pentru tine; sa descriu cum eu, persoana care se atasaza enorm de greu si se plictiseste extrem de repede, sunt inca indragostita de tine desi au trecut aproape 6 luni. Ma indragostesc de tine si te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult cu fiecare secunda, cu fiecare privire, cu fiecare zambet, de fiecare data cand vad cat de energic si funny esti, cat de dragut si plin de afectiune, cat de carismatic, cand vad toata caterinca si inteligenta ta, cand dansezi de nebun sau canti, cand eu ma machiez si tu vii si ma pupi, cand spui “iubu” cu vocea ta de bolnavior si somnoros, cand ma trezesti dimineata in cele mai frumoase moduri, cand imi faci masaj pe tot corpul, pana la ultima particica, cand stai si jucam carti cu familia, cand ma iei in brate; cum ai retinut locurile in care s-a intamplat totul, ( “te duc intr-un loc simplu, dar care are o foarte mare incarcatura sentimentala), pentru ca nu trebuia sa mai existe altcineva. Te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult pentru ca esti cel mai bun la tot; pentru ca ai idei desprinse din filme, pentru sexul sub masa sau pe masa mirilor, pentru sexul pe iarba, cand eu eram deasupra ta iar tu imi spuneai ca ma vezi pe mine si in spatele meu vezi cerul plin de stele, pentru dirty talk-urile si pentru cuvintele frumoase, pentru ca desi aveam 3 sticle de vin nu am avut nevoie sa bem, pentru ca tu esti drogul meu, pentru ca ma faci sa fiu mai high decat orice, pentru ca as da toate party-urile si cluburile doar ca sa ma uit la tine cum arunci la cos sau sa ne plimbam pe afara purtand aceleasi tricouri. Iubesc sa ma uit la tine cum dormi, ore intregi, fara sa ma plictisesc. Tu sa dormi iar eu pur si simplu sa ma uit la tine si sa zambesc. Iti iubesc parfumul si iubesc sa adorm in bratele tale. Iubesc sa am vanatai si muscaturi pe tot corpul de la tine si tu sa ai la fel. Iubesc sa ma uit la filme cu tine. Iubesc sa vorbim despre seriale. Iubesc sa nu am pe nimeni inafara de tine si sa fii totul. Iubesc sa te vreau mereu si sa-mi fie dor de tine, desi ai plecat acum cateva ore; sa ma pun in pat, sa simt ca miroase perna ca tine si sa incep sa plang. Iubesc sa fiu atat de dependenta de tine, desi doare fiecare secunda in care nu esti langa mine. Orice cu tine e perfect, viata e perfecta, orice moment cu tine e totul. Esti toata lumea mea, esti marea mea iubire.

Ma ajuti sa vad viata cu alti ochi, ma faci sa zambesc chiar si atunci cand plang, ma faci sa te iubesc mai mult cu fiecare secunda.

You're the most beautiful and the best thing that ever happened to me <V

And every day that goes by, it seems like I discover something new about you to love. It's incredible to me how one person can make such a big difference in my life. You touch my heart in a way I never knew before. I discover something new about you to love. 

love you forever.

" Voiam sa spun ca eu am ales gresit atunci, desi  tu stateai la mine acasa, in pat si stiam ca ma iubesti "

him

❝ 'There's no need for heartbreak warfare. It's called 'I love you' — 'I love you too'. 'I need more love' — 'You got more love', and you can get through life like that. Shouldn't you just on days where you want more love be like 'I had a bad dream that you were sleeping around, it's really irrational, but just love me extra today'. Why can't we just have this thing where you just say 'Just love me extra today'. If I was with somebody and they said 'Love me extra today', I would love them extra forever.' ❞

Prea multe citate pe seara asta...

I'm just really hurt